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Welcome to Episode 172 of the Salsa Kings LIVE podcast
We have been featured as #1 in “Top 10 Salsa Podcasts” on FeedSpot.
Hey familia! Welcome back to another episode. In this one, we dive deep into understanding personal needs and being authentic, with me, Andres, and my guest, Pablo. Today’s episode is titled “I Have Needs.” We’re talking about why it’s so important to put our needs first sometimes, and how it affects both our personal lives and even our dancing.
As always, don’t forget the Miami Salsa Cruise is coming up, and it’s shaping up to be our biggest one yet. We’re all set for February 23rd, and we’d love to see you onboard!
Key Points
Pablo starts by introducing ideas from the book No More Mr. Nice Guy, where the author emphasizes how people tend to put others’ needs ahead of their own. We talked about how often we act out of a desire to please others or to get them to like us. But here’s the catch: if we constantly put others first without ever expressing what we need, we end up feeling frustrated or resentful. Pablo called this idea “covert contracts,” where we assume others owe us something for what we’ve done, even if they never asked for it. He gives an example: if you keep getting your boss coffee, hoping it’ll lead to a promotion, it’s a hidden deal or a “covert contract.” But in reality, your boss might not even know about this expectation, and when it doesn’t happen, you feel let down.
This got us talking about how this plays out in dance. Sometimes, in dance, we may try too hard to please our partner, focusing on their moves or how they look, instead of just being ourselves. By staying true to our own feelings and moves, we actually bring our best selves to the dance floor. It’s not about changing who we are to impress someone, but rather about connecting authentically. This doesn’t mean we should ignore our partner’s needs, but we shouldn’t be completely sacrificing our joy and rhythm just to please them.
The idea of being authentic is key. When you dance for yourself, it feels natural, fun, and real, and your partner can sense that too. We both agreed that dance is a place to show your true self, not to try and be someone you’re not. As we discussed, I pointed out how in our beginner classes at Salsa Kings, we emphasize that the main goal is to have fun. Dance isn’t about perfection or impressing others; it’s about feeling good, having a great time, and making real connections.
Closing Thoughts
Reflecting on our conversation, we concluded that life, much like dance, is about being honest about our needs. We’re often afraid to ask for what we truly want, thinking it’s selfish or “needy.” But as Pablo wisely reminded us, everyone has needs, and that doesn’t make anyone needy. We talked about how important it is to be clear and direct about those needs without shame. And if you get pushback? Well, it’s a chance to reflect and see if that need is fair or maybe if it’s just not a good match.
At the end of the day, being your authentic self in dance, in relationships, or in any part of life brings more joy than trying to change yourself to meet someone else’s expectations. Authenticity lets us enjoy life more deeply, and in dance, it makes every step, every move, more meaningful. Thanks for tuning in to Episode 172, familia. Remember to be true to yourselves, whether on the dance floor or off, and to always find joy in every step.
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