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Welcome to Episode 167 of the Salsa Kings LIVE podcast
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Hey everyone! Welcome to episode 167 of the show. Today, I want to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while—how we are human first in everything we do, especially in relationships, both on and off the dance floor. This episode is inspired by a mix of experiences, mostly from my closest relationships. I’m sure many of you can relate to this in your own lives. Whether it’s on the dance floor or in our personal relationships, it’s so important to remember the foundations of love and respect.
Key Points: We often take for granted the people we love the most. It’s easy to forget the original place our relationships come from, and sometimes familiarity can lead to disrespect. This is something we should avoid, especially on the dance floor. Whether you’ve been dancing with someone for years or it’s your first time dancing together, it’s crucial to approach every relationship with respect and care.
I believe how we do one thing is how we do everything. So, being aware of how we interact with others is key. For example, I have a big brother, and sometimes we forget to see each other as humans first because we’ve known each other our whole lives. This can lead to overlooking important feelings, and it’s the same on the dance floor.
When we dance, we should come together as equals, with no assumptions or judgments. This can be tricky, especially with different genders or roles in dance. Follows often don’t know the challenges of leading, and leads don’t always understand what follows go through. Learning both roles can help us understand and respect each other more.
When we respect our partner, the dance becomes magical. The lead does what the follow isn’t doing, and the follow complements the lead. It’s a beautiful exchange that creates something unique, but it requires both people to come together without judgment.
Closing Thoughts: At the end of the day, we’re all human, and we should be mindful of that in everything we do. This awareness allows us to give and receive love and respect. It’s important to remember that our relationships are not just transactional; they’re about connection. This is true not just in our personal lives but also on the dance floor.
The joy of social dancing comes from connecting with others for the sake of connection, not just following steps. It’s about sharing the experience, feeling the music, and letting go. As Lionel Richie says in his song “All Night Long,” we can throw away the work and dance together just to enjoy life.
I hope this message resonates with you. If you’ve ever faced challenges with family or loved ones, just remember to lead with love and respect. I’d love to hear your stories about how you’ve navigated similar situations.
Before I go, don’t forget about the Miami Salsa Cruise from February 23rd to March 2nd, 2025. It’s going to be an amazing time with dancing every night aboard the Carnival Celebration. I can’t wait to meet many of you in person, and I’m so excited for what’s to come!
Transcript
Hello everyone, welcome back to the show for episode 167. I am human first. This has been inspired by quite a few instances, none in particular in my personal life, but of course, a very real tie back to the dance floor and I love how the parallels just continue to show up in my life throughout my career and how much the relationships, how much we learn in our relationships, how much we learn on the dance floor carry over. I am human first. I guess you could say the majority of these experiences, if you would, that have inspired this episode have come from actually my most near and dear relationships, if you would. And I’m sure I can bet top dollar that many of you are in the same boat or have experienced something very similar. And that is where the ones that we love the most or the ones that love us the most kind of use the relationship or forget the I guess you could say the original place if you would. The original place meaning where the where the relationship, what the relationship stands on the foundation of it versus kind of seeing what it seeing it for what it is right now, which is of course good, but oftentimes I think the phrase is familiarity breeds disrespect. And if we’re going to immediately bring this to the dance floor, that is of course the last thing that we want to do for again, the overall enjoyment of the experience with our partner, whether they be someone we dance with our whole lives or someone we are just meeting. And again, I’m a firm believer of how you do one thing is how you do everything. So, us kind of being aware at the end of the day of what’s happening and I’m going to give an example here. Let’s say for me, I have for those that don’t know, I have a big brother. And oftentimes we can we can kind of overlook our humanness within one another simply because we’ve known each other obviously our whole lives and this comfort if you would, can sometimes overlook very normal and natural feelings. The foundation if you would is the foundation of love is overlooked of family and those very real priorities because deep down I think it is very easy to say that we love somebody that we care about somebody that we respect somebody on the dance floor. But it’s another thing to actually spend bandwidth and focus and bring attention to the way we approach situations the way we approach the dynamics the different dynamics that exist within the relationship and on the dance floor this is constantly changing this forever evolving as the song continues to evolve and grow and change as well. So, our ability to do that and our ability to bring attention and awareness to that I think is huge because again we tend to focus on the micro the we zoom in if you would too much I mean you could say definitely you know being present if you would can kind of be confused with that but we can get you know too lost and too zoomed in if you would versus kind of taking in an overall awareness of all of our surroundings including which I spoke about in a previous episode as well about you know the possibility of how someone else can feel as well you know we can disassociate ourselves from our environment from others and sometimes even ourselves so so this this very real attention if you would to to come correct I’ve had a an old friend you know kind of make that reference to me which has always stuck with me shout out to Don Sierra appreciate you brother the idea of coming correct and and what that means if we’re talking about the dance floor is is coming together as as equals no assumptions no judgments but as another equal human being and this can get kind of tricky especially if we’re talking about you know different genders right you know a lead is respecting and ideally loving everything that is a follow or or if I were to use my own language a server is loving and respecting everything that their guest has to offer them it’s a very it’s a very equal exchange the guest may be served but the server is not a server without a guest and the same way you know the other way around is that the guest is respecting and honoring and loving everything that their server is doing right so this can get tricky because generally especially on the dance floor guests are all guests only know how to be guests meaning follows are generally only ever in the follow position so it’s very it’s it can be very difficult to to empathize or to be compassionate towards the challenges of a server the challenges of a lead and the other way around you know leads generally are leads and they don’t understand the challenges that exist from a follows position and this can be very limiting this can be very this can be very judgmental right simply because we don’t know any better so we’ve always always and I and I challenge you to to definitely learn the other side simply just for this reason so that we can become a little bit more aware of the challenges that exist and and and oh my gosh just the the level of fun just increases so much when when you see the other person and the other role for all that it is and everything that it has to offer you generally a beautiful thing and then of course you’re able to kind of fill those gaps which ideally is everything that you are as a follow you are doing absolutely everything that the lead is not on purpose and the other way around as a lead you are doing everything that the follow is not on purpose and this click this magical click that takes place is absolutely beautiful but that’s not the point of today’s episode I talk about that in arguably every other episode so let me stay on this topic appreciate your help guys um so this this coming correct is it is generally kind of you know hitting hitting the point home and and what this what this kind of leads to is a level of of influence this the the influence is what is built or or what one tries to build to be able to represent themselves so by default us being us leads being leads follows being follows we can just by just by our own natural flavor if you would which is why I always influence or challenge you guys to yes we’re going to start off you know dancing like our instructors if you would or or as if you know using everything that they taught us but to always include your own little flair your own little magic and that’s how we can influence the relationship and obviously you know if someone decides not to go with that energy I don’t want to use the word follow because that may be confusing because at the end of the day of course follows very much influence the relationship which is actually go figure what we were touching on in the last episode in 166 which I’m sure we will be doing a part two very soon wonderful episode um so go ahead take a listen to that if you haven’t already um but the idea is that both parties are influencing the relationship together and creating something that they couldn’t otherwise alone uh so in these in these intimate are not intimate relationships but in these close relationships and I and I use family because I feel like that’s a very a common one is that sometimes we can be it can feel like like pinches or jabs from our family when sometimes we’re receiving you know this kind of heavy or or hurtful although perhaps not intentional to be hurtful but constructive criticism uh and and oftentimes it doesn’t feel this way uh simply because the the angle it’s just the angle that’s all it ever is right uh we know that it’s coming from a place of love but just the way that it was represented the how which I’ve talked about in previous episodes is is overlooked and and that’s what I want to talk about you know or the idea of this episode is that we’re human at the end of the day like be mindful of please of of of who I am you know and and and the only way that we can do this the only way that we can have this awareness and this respect uh brought on to us is by us doing it for others so that they directly can feel what this is and oftentimes go figure is that it’s overlooked when you’re receiving it right you’re receiving all the love in the world when you’re when you’re a child and you’re growing up to be a teenager you don’t realize you know how much love really you know we really truly were given uh although oftentimes it’s not exactly how we would have preferred it um but but at least how much intention that there was and um and what I ultimately want to be able to to drive home here is if we can be intentional about how we go about expressing that idea then you’d be surprised at how many people are watching looking and and and are inspired by that there is um oh and and essentially to me that’s the kind of the magic of relationships right is where where does it end up going where does it end up going when both parties are influencing one another and it’s this this magical journey together of of newness of awesome uh simply because you know it’s like oh hey what where do you want to go eat today you know or you know one of you will surprise one another or whatever and I’m talking about now making a comparison of intimate relationships but this kind of this is this exists exactly the same way on the dance floor also when we’re actually paying attention to one another and not you know so stuck on the technique of the of the dance and again of course don’t get me wrong technique is extremely important yes yes yes um but when I when I’m talking about beyond that when we can effectively leave and follow one another and actually enjoy each other’s company sharing in this this beautiful physical musical experience there’s um the the extremely popular song All Night Long by Lionel Richie the come see how we play uh I think this is absolutely beautiful I’m going to read some of the lyrics to you guys um but I think when we go to dance it the reason why this is like a celebration if you would which he talks about in the song and I’ll read this to you but I ultimately it’s it’s a no longer like if we’re getting out like if we’re getting out of work let’s say we no longer need to transact our our our relationships are no longer in a transactional format but instead we come together after work with our friends or with our family to connect for the sake of the connection to laugh and to play and and I think this is well then the the essence or the nature of social dance is our ability to be able to do that so not doing that would completely defeat the purpose in my humble opinion and and the reason why I say that is because the absolute joy in your heart that the the feeling the overwhelming gratitude everything that is the spirit fills you up and for those of you that have been social dancing for a little bit you understand this completely this this high that I talk about this dancer’s high and and there’s no level that needs to be achieved from a beginner intermediate advanced you know space that we can immediately begin to feel this the second that we feel comfortable enough to let ourselves go and to connect with another person on a non-transactional level to share for the sake of sharing um and and I’ll go ahead and read and bring up these lyrics um my friends the time has come raise the roof have some fun throw away the work to be done throw away the work to be done excuse me everybody sing everybody dance lose yourself and lose yourself in wild romance beautiful people dancing in the street see the rhythm in their feet life is good wild and sweet let the music play on feel it in your heart and feel it in your soul let the music take control I love it because it’s this is right of everything that I that I talk about it it’s just so it’s so refreshing to to see an artist uh you know represent this in this way and uh one more one more here stay with me once you get started you can’t sit down come join the fun it’s a merry-go-round hashtag to all of our shout out to all of our our uh casino people join the fun it’s a merry-go-round everyone’s dancing their troubles away come join the party see how we play see how we play is beautiful I think that’s my favorite my favorite line see how we play um because essentially we’re we’re you know most of us are are adults and and and they’re very there’s a very real notion there is a very real thing that we can also play and it doesn’t have to cost a million dollars uh in order to to feel the joy to feel the the spirit the connection and everything that is beautiful and all relationships doesn’t beyond you know those that are romantic right we can have a an amazing wonderful loving dance experience with a friend or with someone brand new guys I hope this makes sense uh let me know um if there is a specific instance where you know there’s issues with you know uh you’ve had challenges with you know family like I mentioned and uh again all we can do is lead by the front shout out to Michael Jackson Man in the Mirror love all of that stuff but um essentially there’s a lot that we can learn on the dance floor as we come correct and we remember that we are human first I hope to meet every single one of you on Miami Salsa Cruise coming up next year February 23rd to March 2nd eight days seven nights aboard the Carnival Celebration we’re going to we’re going to Puerto Rico we’re going to Dominican Republic we’re dancing every night we’re taking over the club the Latin Club the Havana Bar over there on board it’s been an absolute blast these past uh it’s going to be the fourth annual now um and uh I hope to see you guys there uh please again shoot me shoot me an email andres at salsa kings.com if you have any questions miamisalsacruise.com is the place to get more information and to get your event ticket once you purchase your event ticket and you can you immediately receive via email the contact to our Carnival representative who can help you book with our with our group code we already have the largest group we’ve ever had um from all over and a lot of a lot of you guys are our podcast listeners I can’t I genuinely have the biggest smile on my face right now I cannot wait to meet every single one of you um so that we can share this in this magical time together again February 23rd to March 2nd 2025 aboard the Carnival’s newest ship the celebration the one with the coaster on top an absolute blast and let’s do it let’s do it I love you guys so much thank you again for tuning in I’m Andres Fernandez signing out Use this transcript of this podcast to create a summary that includes an intro, key points, and closing thoughts section.
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